How to Encourage Your Child to Fast in Ramadan for the First Time?
Dalia Khirfan
During Ramadan, many kids want to try fasting like their parents to honor their religion, even though it can be tough at first. Here are some easy ways to help parents support their kids, especially if it is their first time fasting.
When Should Kids Start Fasting Ramadan?
There is no set age for kids to start fasting, but it is generally recommended for healthy kids to begin around puberty, usually around ten years old. Some kids start wanting to fast around seven, and it is okay if they do not fast the whole day. What matters is getting used to the Ramadan vibe.
What is the Ruling on Children Fasting Religiously?
Kids are not required to fast until they are older. The Prophet Muhammad said that certain people, including children, are not held accountable for fasting until they are older. However, it is a good idea to encourage them to fast so they can get used to it. Parents should start teaching their kids to fast when they are physically able, usually around ten years old, but it varies from child to child.
How Does a Child Progress in Fasting?
Fasting should be gradual. For example, you can start by adding an hour or two each day. This gives the body a chance to gradually adapt to the deprivation of food rather than it being sudden. For instance, a child can begin fasting from the afternoon until sunset instead of fasting from morning until noon. This helps the child to share the joy of breaking the fast and feel a real sense of accomplishment as they mimic adults' actions. Most importantly, it encourages them to fast throughout the day because they have already experienced fasting for several hours and succeeded in doing so. Start with this and then gradually increase the fasting hours by half an hour or an hour according to your child's ability until they fast from noon until sunset, and so on.
How to Encourage Children to Embrace the Idea of Fasting?
Your child has reached the age of seven or eight, and you have decided to start teaching them fasting. How can you encourage them to embrace the spiritual obligation that involves some physical effort? Here are some effective ways:
1. Introduce them to the health benefits of fasting
First, look up the health benefits of fasting and how it can positively affect human health. You can read research on this topic online or watch videos on YouTube. This will help you understand fasting better and then introduce your child to these benefits. Consider your child's age and intellectual capabilities. Remember that children in their early years tend to lean towards logical understanding, so if you affirm to them that modern medicine confirms fasting helps cleanse the body of toxins and gives a sense of vitality; it will be a positive motivator for them to fast.
2. Tell Them About the Rewards of Fasting from Allah
Among the most important principles of upbringing is developing the spiritual aspect of children. Even if they are young, it is important to talk to them about Allah and the paradise that awaits those who draw closer to Him through acts of worship, especially fasting. You can use this unique approach to encourage children to fast. Tell them that Allah, who created paradise, has commanded us to fast to draw closer to Him and to obey Him, and that the more obedient we are to Allah, the greater the reward.
3. Immerse Your Child in the Joyful Atmosphere of Ramadan
Create a joyful atmosphere associated with the holy month, as children who are used to eating at any time may find it difficult to imagine abstaining from food and drink throughout the day, especially for an entire month. Therefore, it is suggested to introduce an atmosphere of joy and happiness into the home to alleviate this fear. Start by decorating the house with colorful paper lanterns and bright lights, along with various shapes of decorations. Let your child help you choose and purchase these decorations and assist you in hanging them in the appropriate places around the house. This method is one of the most important ways to encourage children to fast during Ramadan and reinforces their sense of the arrival of the holy month.
4. Ask Your Child for Help in Preparing Food and Drinks
Ramadan is the month of generosity, where many different types of foods and drinks are prepared. You can encourage your child to fast by involving them in the preparation process. Depending on your child's age, you can start with simple tasks. For example, if your child is young, have them fetch utensils from the kitchen and help clean and wash them. If they are older, they can help buy some items from nearby stores. All of this helps your child associate the daily rituals of Ramadan with joy and happiness, positively affecting their feelings about Ramadan and encouraging them to fast.
How to Help Children Endure Fasting Hours in Ramadan?
Parents need to create suitable conditions for their children to fast comfortably. Here are some tips to facilitate fasting for children:
1) Pay attention to what you offer for your child's pre-dawn meal (Suhoor) and choose the timing wisely.
It is essential for mothers to select foods that help their children fast by choosing some foods that promote a feeling of fullness. Among the most important of these foods are bananas and yogurt, which are light on the stomach while still being filling.
As much as possible, delay Suhoor slightly before the Fajr Adhan to shorten the actual duration of abstaining from food.
2) Choose an appropriate way for your child to spend their day while fasting.
Here parents are divided into two groups:
- Some believe that keeping their children busy throughout the day in Ramadan helps them not to think about food. Therefore, they instruct their children to engage in various household chores or send them to run errands outside the house.
- On the other hand, some believe it is best to keep the child in a state of extreme relaxation so they do not exert any effort and thus do not feel hungry.
Both approaches individually are not entirely correct! Indeed, it is necessary to occupy your child's time, but what is the best way to do so?
- The most logical method is to keep your child engaged in activities they enjoy, provided they do not require a lot of physical effort. You can choose a hands-on activity for your child, such as drawing, coloring, playing with clay, or involving them in preparing Iftar. These activities help pass the time and divert the child's focus away from searching for food. Additionally, the child may engage in them for a long time without feeling bored.
3) Make your child a partner in all Ramadan rituals.
Involve your child in doing good deeds in various forms and all worship activities. Your child can help you give money, food, clothes, or anything that brings joy to the poor and needy. They can also assist you in distributing dates and water to drivers and people on the streets at Iftar time. There are many ideas and actions to spread goodness in Ramadan that you can involve your child in, which will make them, feel different.
You can also take your child with you to pray at the mosque; this will strengthen their connection to the spiritual atmosphere of the holy month, in addition to encouraging children to fast in Ramadan.
4) Provide your child with a healthy and balanced meal for Iftar that meets their body's needs for all nutrients such as vitamins, minerals, proteins, and others. This will not only prevent them from feeling tired and fatigued after Iftar but also encourage them to repeat the fasting experience.
5) Consider your child’s opinion and make them feel valued.
Ask your child what they would like to eat for Iftar or what foods they feel they need the most. This encourages and motivates them to fast.
However, parents may fall into some common mistakes when encouraging their children to fast. We will detail them in the following paragraph to help you avoid them with your children.
Mistakes Parents Make When Encouraging Their Child to Fast
If you are looking for ways to encourage children to fast, you should know that this experience is still in its early stages, and the child you are encouraging to fast has not yet been a grown up. Therefore, you should be prepared for some failures at the beginning of this experience.
For example, imagine if your son refuses to fast altogether. In this case, you should encourage him again and introduce him to fasting and its value.
Alternatively, you may have to accept that your child may ask for food after some time has passed. Of course, you should not immediately respond to avoid underestimating the value of the obligation within your child, but you should not be too hard on them either because they are still not accountable.
- Among these mistakes:
1- Accusing the child of lying or labeling them with any negative attribute
Who among us has not heard of an elder who recounted some tricks they did during fasting when they were young, such as drinking water while washing their face or bathing? Certainly, some children still engage in such tricks in our time. If you discover that your child is one of them, never accuse them of lying or scare them.
Instead, help them understand the reality of the situation, inform them of the mistake they made, and reassure them that they can correct it. Do not accuse them of weak willpower, so they do not internalize that fasting is a heavy burden on them and that adhering to it involves a lot of hardship.
2- Comparing them to their peers
Always remember that education is a continuous chain where one part cannot be separated from the other. While comparison is rejected in all behaviors, it remains a real disaster in matters of worship.
Imagine if a child grows up, and the real motivation behind their performance of any worship is imitation of others rather than commitment to the commands of Allah.
3- Threatening them with hellfire or punishment
Certainly, adults understand the principle of reward and punishment and worship Allah through both encouragement and deterrence at the same time. However, children with their wide imaginations will not understand fear. Here, we are talking about children whom we still encourage to fast, meaning their ages range from six to eight years old.
Threatening with the punishment of Allah can lead to many disturbances at such a young age. Therefore, it is better to use encouragement and inform the child about the extent of Allah's mercy and forgiveness.
4- Not answering the child's questions
A child may ask about the reasons for fasting and who instituted it, and why their elderly grandfather does not fast due to old age, and many other questions—it is even healthy for them to do so. Therefore, you should answer all those questions accurately and not prevent the child from asking any question whatsoever.
In conclusion, you must realize that raising and educating children on the principles and laws of religion is not an easy matter, especially nowadays. It requires continuous effort through dialogue, persuasion, patience in the face of mistakes, and trying all over again.
Narrated by Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock." So, the Imam is a shepherd and responsible for his congregation, a man is a shepherd over his household and responsible for his family, a woman is a shepherd over the household of her husband and children and responsible for them, a child is a shepherd over the wealth of his father and responsible for it, and a servant is a shepherd over the wealth of his master and responsible for it.
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